Solutions for The 12 Types of Distorted Thinking
Earlier, I wrote “12 Types and Examples of Cognitive Distortions.” I later then asked you guys if you have solutions such as personal experiences for overcoming them (here). I read most of them and they were all fantastic. Specifically, one of you emailed me with whole list of solutions to share with everyone. Here they are:
Mind Reading - Confront the person instead of trying to mind read them. For example, tell them what’s been on your mind and ask them to verify if it’s true. Say something like “I’ve been thinking that you possibly like me, is that true?”
Catastrophize - It’s hard to believe that there is hope when it seems like the future is all black and gray. This one is tough to overcome when something bad happens to us as our emotions run high. However, over time, we can learn to prove our fate wrong.
Filtering - If you do remember the bad, then try and remember the good, balance out the memories. Yes there was that time that little Susan tried to make your life hell, but then again there was also that time where everyone had a water balloon fight and you had a lot of fun.
Polarized thinking – think of it as… a person can’t be completely bad, and a person can’t be completely good either. There is always something that’ll make someone look bad even though people think of him/her as good and vice versa.
Personalization – Now yes, there will be times that people talk, and yes it’s about specifically that one person but that doesn’t mean people have that much of care to talk about that one person all the time. People should just lighten up and face facts, not every single word is directed towards them. There are other subjects out there.
Blaming – Look at the situation, analyze it, how it happened, when it happened, who was there, who wasn’t, what actions were done, sometimes everyone is a little at fault, and sometimes it’s one person, but before assuming it’s best to think about it.
Being Right – To fix this, a person must at least try and leave room for other people’s opinions and prospective. It is very hard to be friends with someone who only agrees with their own thoughts.
Should’s – No is a powerful word, and yet not so powerful, it can cause damage if used with a strict voice. If a person has something to do saying ‘no, I can’t” won’t do any harm. Just let your friend know that you are busy and there is always “another” time.
Emotional Reading – Emotions can be the worst things to make decisions off of, so the best way is to question it. “Is this product really helping me?” “Am I really happy with my love or is it just because of that one time they gave me chocolate but hasn’t since.
Fallacy of Change – People can change, it’s possible, but not every time. If a person is greedy, they will be greedy no matter the situation, no matter the person they’re with, it’s the way they believe they want to live their life. Furthermore, you shouldn’t be expecting others to change just to make you happy. You must change yourself first.
Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – People believe this because they most likely believe in karma, now in this case, working hard isn’t bad, and most likely reward will be there, but will it be the same as what you put in? Most likely doubtful. Instead, work hard, do not expect, and be smart about how you go about it.
Overgeneralization – To fix this issue, try and test it out a bit more, say that math test was a complete disaster, but was it because there wasn’t enough studying going on? Not enough questions answered? Or really indeed that it takes a very long time to understand the certain problems given. Maybe trying to study more on the math test will help get that better grade verses thinking the person really just sucks and giving up.